Michael Jordan

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Jordan of the Chicago Bulls......

Jordan will make over $00,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he averages about 0 minutes a game.

Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, hell be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!

Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $5,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

Buy Michael Jordan term paper

If he goes to see Independence Day, itll cost him $7.00, but hell make $18,550 while hes there.

If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, hell make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)

Hell make $,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($0,000) it would take him a whole 1 days.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $.00 every second.

Hell probably pay around $00 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $,0 for that round.

He could take 1/100,000th of his income and buy some poor college student 500 packages of Ramen.

(Thats 50 years of weekend ramen! Enough for any grad student to

live on comfortably. -- EDEW)

Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $500 for such accounts at 80 a.m. on January 1st, 17.

If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, youd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

Hell make about $1.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics.

Hell make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run.

While the common person is spending about $0 for a meal in

his trendy Chicago restaurant, hell pull in about $5600.

Next year, hell make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all of their terms combined.

And something to cheer you up after all of this. . .

Jordan will only have to have this income for 70 more years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates.

. . .Or does that make you more sick?

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU. The

author was accepted and is now attending NYU.

A. IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION ARE THERE

ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When Im bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I dont perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

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