My Goals and Dreams

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My Goals and Dreams

This decision to return back to school, has been somewhat of a dream of mine. A dream that I kept tossing around but never did anything about, until the day I walked into the Walnut Creek office of the University of Phoenix. As I listened to my Counselor explain in details about the University, which entailed a lot of information. I now know that I need to make a decision that will finally end my search to fulfill dreams.

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As I toss the idea around in my mine, I begin to feel a bit anxious then a rush of fear started to over take me with visions of my not so pleasant days back in school. The days when no one understood what I was going through and I had to figure things out myself. Was I going to allow my High School to break me down or figure some way to make it to graduation, without knowing what my life has in stored for me?

Well I made it to graduation how I don't quite know but I graduated. My life begins now. What should a person do once they have graduated High School and feel they haven't learned anything to prepare them for life outside of school? They do what they know and what I knew was how to be a good wife. My mother showed my sisters and me the basic fundamentals of being a wife. So I decided to get married when my then boyfriend Arnold proposed to me a year after I graduated. We were married and had a beautiful baby boy, my life seemed good but I began to feel a bit inadequate when I converse with people. I then started to want more for myself then just being a wife and mother. Don't get me wrong I was a great wife and mother but I needed more. So I applied into some certified nurses aide program at Hilo Hospital. After receiving a certificate from the program I was hired on at the hospital as a nurse aide. Meanwhile, my marriage was going in the direction of Arnold and me filing for divorce.

Now I have a chance to take control of my life again, and to fulfill my dreams of educating my mind to better my chances in achieving a job so I will be able to support myself and my child.

Living on the Big Island of Hawaii doesn't give you many opportunities so I decided to relocate to California which I did. My decision was not an easy one because I decided not to take my son away from his father and disrupt his life so I can fulfill mine. I realized no matter what I decided my sons life would be disrupted, but I just wanted it to be the best decision for him.

As I begin to experience California and what it has to offer me I fall into another relationship and the next thing I know I'm doing what I know best being a wife and a mother too now a beautiful baby girl. As time passes, I enroll into Chabot Community College to begin my prerequisite for the registered nurse program. I also work full time on a grave yard shift at Humana Hospital. As for my marriage I began to resent TJ, my husband because he insisted I quit school which I did. As for my marriage, it also ended in divorce.

Here it is a chance to make my dreams become a reality, am I going to jump at the chance to finally fulfill what I have been longing for or let this become another "I should have." I quickly placed all of my fears into a box in my mind and tied a knot to it. I will follow my own preaching words that I continue to bark at my own children "It is never too late to learn" and with that being said I proceeded with registering into the University of Phoenix to continue my education.

As several days go by, the knot on the box that I have stored in my mind, began to unravel allowing my anxieties as well as my fears to over take me. A vision of how difficult it was back in High School, as I recalled, how I use to freeze during exams, and when I would forget the subject matter of the lectures as well as the lectures itself. It would make it difficult to complete my homework, resulting in a poor grade and being disciplined not only in school but at home.

As I embark on this path, I ask myself. What will I gain? Will I learn better this time around? Will I be able to get the education required to better my career? So why do I want to put myself through this? That is the question I have asked myself over and over again throughout my adult life. The only answer that releases all my fears and anxieties are. This is my dream and I have the opportunity to fulfill it. Face these new challenges with a positive attitude and confidence in myself to Succeed.

I have faced a challenge though it has taken several drafts I have been able to search deeply inside myself and convert my feelings into words to be able to express how I feel in regards to returning to school. It begins to get easier as I continue to realize the possibilities that are out there for me to achieve the goals I set for myself.

As a student attending the University of Phoenix, my personal goal I would like to achieve is to complete all assignments due to receive a passing grade. Another goal is to attend every workshop with enthusiasm and the drive to learn.

Knowing it is up to me, I am in control of the goals I set the only persons' approval I need is mine.

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