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Maestro
Discovery and the process of it, is much more complex than the word itself. Discoveries can be understood as solving riddles, or arranging pieces of jigsaw puzzles. This is a metaphor for uncovering what is known or only partially understood. The quest for knowledge and the solution to mysteries is a powerful motivating force for human beings. These mysteries may be related to events or people in history, but they may also include an evolving understanding of oneself. Some of the elements that aid discovery are curiosity, obsession, desire, hunger and passion. Sometimes things that hinder discovery also aid it. Some things that hinder discovery are secrets and concealment, people's attitudes, dishonesty and lying, the passage of time, disaster and the degree of awareness or attention. When a discovery is made it can be either positive or negative. A positive discovery is one that makes you learn positive characteristics about yourself or learning and realising positive characteristics about others. A negative discovery manifests itself when someone has betrayed you, or your dream cannot be realised. The success that you achieve by making several sacrifices does not make you happy or quite satisfied. Even negative or harmful discoveries lead to positive realisations, which help us to grow and develop. In the novel 'Maestro' by Peter Goldsworthy it can be said that discoveries made by the characters are both negative and positive. Positive discoveries made in this novel are Paul Crabbe realising his sexual orientation, the difference between love and lust, the discovery of Eduard Keller's family and the extent of Paul's musical abilities. Negative discoveries are Paul's interview with Keller's old musical colleague, Joseph Henisch in Vienna, the fact that he is unable to reach the expectations of his parents and the painful arrogance of his youth. The two supplementary texts discussed are "Afghanistan's Great Leap Backwards," and " Time and Tide ". The former article epitomises the negative experience that the locals have to endure. However, there are people who wish to fight against evil. This potent desire to be belligerent instead of passive makes this discovery a positive one. The second supplementary text is a poem, " Time and Tide." This poem is about the process a young boy endures, to discover the difference between dreams and reality. The young boy sees the ocean in a distant state, without knowing the true power of evil.
It is clear that some of the discoveries that Paul makes about himself are positive ones. At first, Paul becomes madly in love with Megan. Paul describes Megan as an idol of perfection, "…the furred nape of her neck, her smooth bare shoulders, the thick cumulus of pale hair." Paul thinks that Megan is the quintessence of physical beauty. He is blinded by her appearance or physical attributes, "…by home time she became a haloed vision" Paul is so smitten that he can only picture her as an angel. "…That vision lodged deeply inside me, especially the glowing hair. It was the feel of her soft, thick hair that woke me one late morning, hard and pulsing below the waist, the bed sheets sticky with a strange pale honey, the first I'd seen." Megan in Paul's eyes is like an angel that cannot even escape from Paul's mind during the night, she was the inspiration for Paul's wet dream. Paul's relationship with Rosie is in stark contrast to the one he had with Megan. With the onset of maturity he realises that his feelings for Rosie are true love. The process of this discovery is a long one. When Paul meets Rosie for the first time his thoughts of her are, " I suppose I disliked her for the usual reason she was too much like me. Also I was worried; and now I had competition. She was the other smart kid in the class." These thoughts of hatred and possible jealousy soon started to disappear as Paul matures and has different sexual experiences with both girls. When Megan picks Paul up in her car and drives to Scotty's house, she has other plans in her mind. She stops the car and finds her way to the nearest bunker and Paul follows. Megan spreads the carpet on the sand and drapes herself across it. Megan says, "Peel me a grape". "It was disappointment, at least for me. She was too selfish, I realised later. Too used to being desired, to never having to involve her self in any real way. As soon as I touched her she became floppy, inert, like something waiting to be kneaded. She loved to be touched, bitten, licked-but passively, as if on a pedestal, receiving some sort of sexual tithe." This makes Paul realise that Megan is simply physical beauty, and is only an object of desire. At first Paul has no interest in Rosie, desiring only perfection. It was through an unsatisfying sexual experience with Megan that enlightenment dawns, and he realises Rosie's true qualities "I was terrified. Terrified that I might loose her." She could stimulate him on an intellectual and sexual level. Evidence of this is "I loved her which at a time when most of my love was wasted on myself, was no small achievement." Through these experiences he comes to realise what Megan and Rosie mean in his life. He loves Rosie and it is this understanding between love and lust and realisation of his feelings that allows Paul to understand Rosie and allows their relationship to flourish.
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Another positive discovery made in this novel is when Paul realises that Keller had a family. Paul made this discovery on one June afternoon, " I arrived at the Swan and found no sign of Keller in his room or in the bar below. His door had been left ajar, presumably for me. Entering, I sat myself for the first time at the grand, breaking his strict rule…I played for a short time" it was while Paul was playing the piano that, "…the hinged frame of photographs-an ornamental silver clamshell-that Keller kept propped on his piano caught my eye". It was now when Paul first saw this picture, he observed and saw, "…a young plumpish woman, seated, a child standing next to her, and behind both what could be only be a much younger version of Keller, his firm, proprietorial arm resting on the shoulder of the woman." When Keller makes his way into the room, Paul consequently gets caught red-handed, and asks the question, "Your family?" Keller without hesitation answered, "Those are my family…my son's name was Eric. My wife, Mathilde." This discovery caused many other questions to arise amongst the Crabbe family. Paul's mother suggests, "Perhaps his wife and child died in the War". But Paul had his own immature perspective, "Perhaps they left him. After a piano lesson." This is a positive discovery because he gains a deeper insight into Keller's motives and inspirations, "My love for you does not depend on these little things." Paul realises that Keller loves him like a son because he lost his own son. Furthermore he has a deep seated hatred of Vienna because Hitler's men took his wife and child away, "Ornamental facades. Hiding the hypocrisy within…"
Paul's most important positive self-discovery would be when he realises about his limited musical talents. The discovery of his musical talents is a rather positive and helpful one to Paul's soul, the fact he finally realises his potential. This helps him to grow and mature. This discovery is a lengthy process which allows Paul to be aware of his musical abilities. Paul is irredeemably smug, self-centred and has selfishness and essential addiction, "His reckless with self confidence." Paul resents Keller from the first meeting, merely by his appearance, "Uniform white linen suit", Paul believed Keller, "Had spruced up especially to meet him." As Paul grows and matures, he reflects on this and admits disparagingly, "I was child enough, self-centred enough to think so." Paul in his youth was extremely spoilt and arrogant. His egocentric nature breeds contempt. He shows more evidence of this arrogance of his when he refused to play duets with Bennie Reid saying that Bennie, "Does something to the violin, but I don't think it could be described as playing." This rudeness highlights Paul's condescending attitude and shows his high regard for himself. "You are spoilt," Keller asserts, "First you must learn to listen," With this forthright admission, Keller begins to curb Paul's arrogance. Keller's praise of Paul's playing was sparingly, "fine" highest admission but usually, "adequate." After being praised by both his peers and his elders, Paul finds it difficult to accept Keller's indifference. Even at Paul's highest achievement, an A+ in a music exam, Keller refuses to praise Paul's ability saying, "The boy is too given to self-satisfaction…the self satisfied go no further." At Paul's fine performance of Beethoven, Keller dismisses it by claiming it as an, "Excellent forgery," "Technically perfect," but with something, "Missing," and "that small something may as well have been everything". This lukewarm response to Paul not only humbles him, but also drives him to great heights, acquiring determination. "…I redoubled my efforts at the keyboard. If Keller asked for two back fuges each week, I prepared three. If he required three hours practise, I played for four…" Keller teaches Paul determination and the drive to exceed his limits, which further emphasises the advantage for Paul to have Keller as his teacher. Paul's experience with Keller can be seen as profound. The adult Paul says Keller has taught him a, "Self criticism that will never allow me to forget my limits." "You are one in a thousand," he says to Paul, "But a concert pianist is one in a million." We can see that Keller plays an important role in keeping Paul down to earth and cares about him enough to warn about his future prospects in music. These things imply that Keller is the best teacher for Paul and though it was Paul who makes the admission that Keller is the, "worst teacher," for him. He also admits Keller has "spoiled" him. Paul, "tired of second-rate," teachers, reiterating the good Keller had done for Paul. Paul's love for Keller is evidence that he understands the truth in Keller's heart. Keller taught Paul many lessons from determinations to modesty, but above all the, "affection" he felt for Paul and the musical and emotional guidance he offered Paul makes Keller the best teacher for him.
Paul's negative discovery is made when he finally realises that his parents have an illusion, and is unable to live up to the expectations of his parents. Paul's parents glorify his musical talents. Paul's parents believe their son is a great piano player, and they a willing to do anything to give him the opportunity to perform at an exalted level. Everyone was trying to live their life again through Paul. Mr Crabbe has fewer opportunities than Paul and therefore wants Paul to be the musical genius and to live his dream through Paul. Keller has a dream for his son. His son shows great promise, but after he is betrayed, he never sees his son again and wants to live his dream through Paul. This discovery is closely linked to the realisation of Paul becoming aware of his sensuality. Paul over so many years finally realises that he is rather mediocre, he cannot reach perfection it is merely unattainable, he realises the difference between technical and musical perfection. It is "through all the talk one thing rapidly emerged unsaid…they no longer felt they had a concert pianist on their hands." An older Paul reflects "All I have any hope of attaining…technical perfection, not musical perfection." Paul is unable to live up to his parent's aspirations. He has previously fooled himself in believing he was accomplished, his parents think he is a virtuoso. Paul harks back mostalgically to the days when Keller tells Paul that his talent is not enough to attain the glory he desires. Keller makes Paul that he has reached his potential and not to waste the rest of his life, "Better a small hurt now than a wasted life," but Paul being the arrogant young boy never took his advice and always wanted more. He never at any stage believed that he could not be a great concert pianist, even his parents resent the fact when Keller tries to warn them about Paul's mediocrity. He finally understands that he is mediocre and the difference between dreams and reality.
The other great negative discovery made by Paul is when he comes to understand about Keller's past and his self-flagellation. Paul makes this discovery through joining information he has gathered so far and when he visits Henisch, in Vienna. Paul becomes aware and learns about his former life in Vienna, his son Eric and wife Mathilde and his immense talent. Keller had been a victim of betrayal. Keller himself was betrayed by the very people he trusted, "I was assured Jewish members of German families would not be harmed." "You must understand," he tells Paul, "I knew these people. These murderers. I signed their concert programmes." When his son and wife are killed by the Nazi regime he had entertained, he is a shattered man. Keller's subsequent attempts to punish himself by appropriating a Jewish identity, mutilating his hand, fleeing to another country and renouncing the music he had once loved so passionately all fails to ease the onerous burden of guilt. In the end, he is a sad figure, dying of alcoholic poisoning to the soulless strains of muzak. What Keller is doing to himself could be described as self-flagellation. He continually drinks as a way to dismiss his problems, "…boozer's incandescent glow." He shifted countries and came to live in Darwin, "The arsehole of the earth," trying to further punishing himself by living with already abnormal people. Keller even starts to wear a yellow star on clothing and registers as a Jew in Vienna, "Some form of penance?…Perhaps he felt he might fight Mathilde and Eric." He even fakes his death to his friends in Vienna, this more supports the theory that Vienna was a place of betrayal and hypocrisy. He feels so responsible for his wife and son's death that he becomes detached from music, moving away from the romantics, "If he ever felt the desire to play again he would hack off his fingers one by one." Even later on in the concerts, during the playing of Wagner, "Tears were filling the deep fissures of that parched landscape." Keller cannot handle the sorrow he still feels for his murdered family. Paul's relationship with Keller changes at this point as Paul finally comes to realise that Keller is a fragile human being.
One of the other negative discoveries that Paul makes about himself through a process of growth and maturity is that he can finally see himself clearly for the first time. He looks back as an adult, and can see that he was an arrogant, selfish, self-satisfied youth. This is evident when the time comes for Keller to confess to Paul. "…Why after all these years, had he decided to entrust me with this immense secret, this weight he wanted to heave from his soul." "I should have stayed…but there wasn't enough time. The aroused, sexual present overwhelmed the past." This further affirms the fact that Paul is very selfish and is still beguiled by pleasures of the flesh. Paul was unable to appreciate the enormity and significance of Keller's confession regarding his wife and son. Now the older Paul is able to realise such things and pass his judgements on his actions and personality, this shows that the depth of his emotional growth and maturity. In his reflections, Paul regrets the things he has missed and taken for granted due to his ambitions and selfishness. Like, "…the roast meat, the kisses. The music around the piano…my father, rushing through the door holding high his first plump-fleshed red furred rambutan…" It is said that Paul has missed out on so many opportunities but it is only with realisation can he appreciate his current life and what he has to offer a loving family and endless possibilities. Paul demonstrates this understanding at the closing of the novel when he is at the bedside of Keller. At the culmination of his self-awareness he writes, "Can I know that mine was a foolish innocent world, a world of delusions and feelings and ridiculous dreams a world of music and still love it Endlessly, effortlessly."
A similar negative experience of self discovery is seen in the magazine article, from the Reader's digest, "Afghanistan's Great Leap Backwards" by Stephen Grey. This article is written through the perspective of a couple of women. One was named Shafika Habibi. Shafika is a newsreader on national television, married to a diplomat who becomes governor of a province and government minister. As soon as the Taliban take over, they both lose their jobs. The Taliban takes over the city and extreme Islamic rules are imposed. Women are required to cover themselves head to toe, and never socialise with men at any time apart from a few occasions. Women are expected to stay at home and leave their jobs. "The Taliban's solution was simply to lock women up." Shafika discovers that she is not going to hold back and let the Taliban do what every they want. She refuses to be passive and doesn't want them to beat her. She campaigns with authorities for changes. She wants to find a future for young girls. She realises "If this situation goes on, we will lose a whole generation." This article can be linked with 'Maestro'. The Taliban in this case can be compared with Adolf Hitler and the lady Shafika can be compared with Eduard Keller. In both stories many people have been taken, killed and tortured. But the difference is that Keller could not face the fact he had betrayed his family so he completely changes his life, "self-flagellation" he punishes himself, Keller believes that is what he had to do. Shafika takes the opposite approach, she stood her ground and desires to fight against the Taliban. The discovery that is made in this article by Shafika is that she will fight for freedom, she refuses to be passive and allow the Taliban to take over. This discovery is a positive one because she her self wants to see a result favouring the public of Afghanistan, she is against the evil.
Another self-discovery is seen the poem "Time and Tide" by Tim Winton, from the "The Good Weekend." This poem is about a rather volatile 1 year old boy making a negative discovery in life. The poem begins by explaining the passion the boy has for the sea and the uncertainty the sea leaves in the boy's mind, making him think of all the beautiful wonders that may lie within, "The living, teeming sea connects me to my past…" "The big blue has always been a source of awe and mystery…" The young boy at this stage feels extremely attracted by the sea. At this point the boy holds high regard for the sea, wondering what magic the sea possesses. The characteristics of the sea are very inspiring to the young boy. One day he happens to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time, where his beauty was turned into an awful experience. This experience was so distracting that it left the volatile, soft-hearted youth with a change of viewpoint as to life and how he viewed it after his negative incident. He witnesses on the beach, "…A sperm whale methodically dismantled and rendered into oil and fertiliser." "A grenade had exploded in its long, blunt head." He is in such a situation where he does not want to witness the incident but at the same time he is transfixed, he is in a state of shock. It can be said the boy at this instant makes a negative discovery. He realises how evil humans can be, humans have so much evil in them that they can even harm the sea which seemed indestructible to the young boy, "I realised the sea and its many wonders were not invulnerable." After this experience he always saw things from a different perspective. This discovery of the young boy can be closely linked to the one Paul makes about Keller's past. In the same way the young boy turns his back on the beauty of nature and sees it from a different perspective. Paul when he finds the truth about Keller's background changes his way of thinking about Keller. Paul realises what a arrogant boy he was to resent Keller's appearance, knowledge and the way he taught. After this discovery of Paul's it can be said that he turns his back on his own self-centred, egocentric attitude and sees Keller as a different person and appreciates his customs.
Thus it can be seen from the close perusal of the text and supplementary material , that positive and negative experiences in Discovery are both evident. Characters incessantly learn and gain a better understanding of themselves through the process of discovery. These texts have given me a greater insight into the concept of discovery, and have proved to be a salutary learning experience.
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