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Many people today believe that children don't see or concern themselves with what they see and hear in the way of family violence. Some even believe that they will put out of their mind or forget the arguments and fighting that goes on in the home. They DO care and see the violence and will not easily forget things such as yelling and screaming at each other or mom and/or child being hit. They in fact don't loose sight of what they have seen. In certainty children who have observed domestic violence have shown that it can terribly exert influence upon them
Many studies have been done over the years on the effects of domestic violence on children and all have shown that the children go through considerable harm. Thus these children need a lot of help to rebind from the effects of violence. The sad part of domestic violence is that children most often enough feel that they are the blame for the violence and that it is up to them to restore peace to the family. This is not true, as the child can NEVER be the blame for the acts of violence done by adults.
Some of the short-term effects on infants would include, sleep disturbances, developmental delays, lethargy, physical neglect, and a fearful reaction to loud noises. Toddlers on the other hand can show increased illness, severe shyness, decreased self esteem, hitting, biting, and trouble in preschool or day care. School age children also show some of the same effects as toddlers such as increased illness and hitting. They also display stealing, lying, nightmares, eating disorders, self-mutilation, reduction in school marks, substance abuse, and the need to be too perfect. More often than enough the older child becomes the caregiver for the younger children.
Some of the longer lasting effects would be that a large percentage of children from domestic violence grow up to be abusers themselves. Boys in particular tend to abuse the women close to them as well as their children. Girls tend to take on more of a victim role in that they tend to attract abusive partners.
Some of the most violent perpetrators claim to have been abused in early childhood. It is important to note that being abused; as a child does not mean that they will grow up to become abusers. A few ways you can help a child deal with domestic violence would be to encourage the child to talk about anything that might be bothering them. One of the most important things to tell a child is that domestic violence is NEVER their fault. Encourage the child to seek out support networks such as friends, teachers, relatives, counselors, or neighbors. It is also very important to tell them they are special and not alone.
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